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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Sleepless

I am awake for more than 24 hours now and I still can't go to sleep. Normally, when I wanted to sleep, I'll lie flat on my stomach, breathe deep, my muscles relax, and my mind will wander off to dreamland. But since this is the SEMESTRAL EXAM WEEK (One week of exams where the coverage will be from Day 1 until the most recent lecture), I think I succeeded in composing myself to MORE sleepless nights and longer reading hours, to the extent that I cannot sleep anymore.

Monday and Tuesday exams will kill you - Gross Anatomy and Physiology. I study Anatomy during the weekend and after the exam (since we don't have regular class during exam week - which means I have the whole Monday afternoon for Physiology). I intentionally avoided using the internet until Wednesday since I knew that my reading hours will lessen - or maybe not since reading blogs and on-line news is still reading, right? :) So after torturing myself until Tuesday, my Wednesdays exams should be a lot lighter, but because of the internet and the preconditioned system I have, I failed to sleep. Although I manage to read most of the coverage and I think I did well in the exams, I find it hard to stay awake on the hour of the exam! My mind was so busy (and having its own business) that I even forgot the 4th level in Maslow's Hierarchy of Need! (Shame!) I knew it was Self - E____ and I knew very well that this isn't a hard one but I failed to remember Self - Esteem!!!!

Oh well, since I don't have to embrace bad vibes, I moved along and thought I pretty much answered the questions that were in the given readings. My FCM exam, which includes calculations, made me relax a bit since only Math can make me sane right now. Only, I was half-way the exam when I remembered I HAVE A CALCULATOR! All along I was computing manually, maybe because my mind works so fast, it got very excited and just jumped into writing the solutions right away. Oh well, I felt like there should be MORE computations and LESS definitions (of which I'm not very good at) and I know my classmates will kill me for saying that hahahaha!

Two more days...two more very long days before semestral break. I can't wait to watch T.V., surf the net (without being time-conscious), and yes, sleep. I miss my family too since I haven't been home for two weeks already (last week because of the typhoon, and this week I wanted to study).

I admit I was never this kind of student before. I do not study during exams because I believe(d) that they are meant to TEST whether you learn or not. So I study during the class. Sadly though, very few hours will be allotted for lecture (in comparison with the bulk of the topics that should be covered). So, mostly, students will do their independent readings. I never do that back in college. But I should, now. And I felt like I've never exerted this much effort to learn EVER! And I appreciate myself more.

I learned that you shouldn't wait for someone else to tell you how good you are, or wish you luck. You do it to yourself. And I think I am on that stage in Maslow's Hierarchy that I forgot! Self-Esteem. I will never, ever forget you again. Promise.

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